please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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