He kissed a someone with a penis
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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