you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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