you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
