Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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