i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
