I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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