k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
