Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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