Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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