I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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