either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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