Pregnant stripper...not hot.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
