thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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