I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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