google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
