Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
