Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
