good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
