i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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