are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The adults are the big ones right?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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