It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
