Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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