2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
