Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
