proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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