belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
