Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
