you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
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