Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
