; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
