I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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