That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
