So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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