I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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