I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
