oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
