wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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