They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
