We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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