remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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