Please, let me fuck your mom
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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