This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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