I'm drive I can fine osifer
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
