he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
