apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
