you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
