no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
