Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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