I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
