butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
