I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
